the greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.
i love you now, but not a day goes by when i don't think about you. but everyday i die a little death when i don't have any contact with you.
then you appear, a few words, a smile, a look, just any microscopic hint of attention or care towards me makes me feel like soaring to the heavens.
but when i ruminate on my own thoughts and memories about you, i never can decide whether to be happy or sad.
oh i love you so, you'll never know, oh my life is just a spare, but i don't care, when you take me in your arms, the world is bright, all right. what's the difference if i say, i'll go away, when i know i'll come back on my knees someday, for whatever you are, i am yours, forevermore.
but i look at myself and i see immaturity, but maybe a hint of the hopeless romantic that i wanted to be, because only a hopeless romantic might probably see the sense of a hopeless romantic :)
so i say to myself put on the "maturity" thinking cap, so that i can function an survive to the next time i'll be able to be in your arms again.
i think WAY too much, but my brain runs on auto pilot.
now i feel powerless, because you've got problems that i think i can understand, but cannot provide solutions to. it tears me sometimes that i get this feeling i should do SOMETHING, but i can't think of anything except to be there if and when i'm needed. but i don't think i am, so am i being a dead weight or an annoyance?
even worse, i fear i may be misunderstanding and offering words of comfort that may be making you feel worse?
at times like this...
urk.
i try to be optimistic, but that almost seems insensitive, but being optimistic usually helps me do better in between the dissapointments, an helps me be prepared if ever luck strikes so that i can harness it.
not seeing the bright side of things can make everything seem dark. obvious, but true i think.
pics of stuff on saturday~
blossom, piglet and pooh in a bunny hat
dinner with the recently escaped detainees
I was walking down the street when this man hammering on his roof called me a paranoid little freak... In morse code.
ish, what a ride, i suddenly feel optimistic again!
tho at heart all of a sudden i have become a slacker O_O""
NOOoOOooOooOoO
i like it, but it's NOT GOOD!
time to get my act together. time to strike a balance. time to get cracking! i'm gonna be i wanna be i CAN be!!
*hopes there is truth in the so called power of positive thinking* 8D
i have treated my ears and mind to the new and fascinating musical called "Wicked",
prolly the all this excitement has come about from the fact that my best friend has been introduced to another one of my yababom sistahs ;) and they got on FAMOUSLY!
i feel happy.
but there's always that one...*sigh* but i feel happy about that as well, i shall pray and hope and just keep loving, and trying to learn that less is indeed more, i hope i right about it tho, and to remember, less does not mean... nothing at all...
but, i think i'll sleep with a smile tonite... 8D
For Sale: One Parachute.
Used Once.
Never Opened.
Slightly Stained.
so i have been told to take it a day at the time, but not a day goes by when i get misty thinking about you.
but one thing, a big thank you to my yababom sisters, and to you, for even though i seem to be such an emotional wreck, you guys have been amazingly tolerant and supportive of my tantrums.
so i feel so much better now, and i'm gonna feel happy, because it's not so bad after all, and it's great actually, life can go on, i don't wanna be sad, but then i get thinking all over again, and then i boil and simmer and steam and explode.
well anyways. life has been moving really fast for me and waaay to many things have been happening at the same time, and i must try to find again the complacent self i once was. (was i ever?)
i need to make that list of urgent and important, urgent, but not important, and important but not urgent.
that i must learn patience and the virtue letting things happen.
but i get this fear sometimes that complacency could lead to stagnation.
but then when i over-do it, i could be smothering the flame.
...(@_@ )""...
at least i can take comfort that some things never change. aka life is still a wheel of blades that doesn't stop turning.
a door had closed. but then again several others have opened up. the only problem is, they're all in the same building and invariably i'll be running into past faces which will result in awkwardness and hostility from the sudden change in departments.
i have given my heart away. but hopefullly the recepient doesn't want to visit the returns and exchanges counter after getting a second look and seeing the "made in tanjung rambutan" label... :P
i want to be happy, i am happy, but then my usual previously unacknowledged paranoid side is now gaining a stronger foothold everyday. i shall beseech upon the help of god and his angels < my darling friends, you guys know who you are ;) > to help keep me in check and to give me an ice cube down the back of my shirt when i start being an ass.
so much to do, so much coming up. i need to get a proper organizer cos i don't trust the soggy bowl of overcooked instant noodles known as my brain.
a curious article stumbled upon by gure and shared to me whilst doing research on a presentation on eastern values for moral studies class.
a quote from the site =
"If you stop sex, then you become spiritually advanced. This is the secret. If you stop sex, then you will become spiritually advanced, and if you indulge in sex, then you will become materially enthusiastic. That is the difference between Western and Eastern culture. The whole Eastern culture is based on how to stop sex, and here in the Western countries‑how to increase sex."
i found it interesting and hilarious in a way. maybe it's just me tho :D kyahahha
Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.
i wonder how often should i be obligated to update my blog.
well, cos lately i have had wery little motivation to release any feelings to the unsuspecting public.
that and i have just realised i am horrible at managing money.
a note to all my friends *please don't think less of me if i seem more miserly from now on. it's survival dammit!
then i shall make a list of things to avoid to avoid a vacumm in my wallet.
-ice kosong is now my fav drink in the whole wide world.
-mamak is good, mak dee's is BAD
-movies are only worth watching if they are over 60% fresh on rottentomatoes, and you can't get the dvd off someone.
-every expenditure shall be meticulously recorded and examined.
-i shall claim every little education related expense
-i shall eat economy rice/nasi lemak/air as often as possible.
-i shall zealously go looking for jobs. dance, singing, odd jobs.
if anyone needs a crazy fella who can sing, dance reasonably, is friendly, and is pretty responsible, and is willing to hire, TELL ME PLEASE
hahahahah, i am shamelessly asking for jobs. just as long as it doesn't involve, prostitution, teaching, organized crime, or homocide.
hmmm, advertising campaign on the vespa gt200. if anyone has any thoughts on vespa. lemme know, and leave a comment. thanks XD
