yi pee yai ee ooo aay (ranting and raving. read if you want, but feel free to ignore)
i feel abosufuckinglutely craptacular.
i feel wondergrandiciuosly spamtastic.
gamut. ka put.
i feel terrible i feel great.
then after that, they cancel each other out and then i feel like not feeling and then i wanna die. but then i remember myself and then i wanna live.
i feel guilty. i feel bad. i feel like i wanna vindicate myself. i am undeserving. what have i done? i just wanna hide in a lil hole till evrything blows over. i don't know what's going on. what i assume is happening is highly probable to be or not be.
so i sit in the corner of the room and not do anything, cos things end up working themselves out. usually. any interferrance by me usually results in fantastically terrible results. i'm horrible. why do i go on?
because there's a chance that i'm not? because i might just be delusional and thinking it's all bleak.
but then again, i might be the one with an overinflated ego, and self serving dogma, that arranges everything i see into a neat little order that benefits myself. making me a self centered prick, with no consideration for otehrs.
bang. there goes my foot.
somebody out there hates me. it might be myself, or someone who hasn't owned up. it's prolly myself again.
i wanted to dissappear today.
i want to sleep, and perchance to dream, and to never to wake.
i'm running away.
i'm a coward.
bang. there goes my other foot.
life goes on. love goes on. and i don't know anymore.
disclaimer: thoughts on this blog tend to be transitory and at the spur of the moment. it's a release and should be taken with a pinch of salt as well as a whole lot of sarcasm involved. but there's a grain of truth somewhere lurking. just don't take it seriously. or take it extremely seriously. i can't really tell you what to think can i?.
i usually regret or forget why i felt like writing this after sleeping and waking. at the end of the day. the shit just piles up and then i get the push to flush it out. pun intended? i think so.
things will look better in the morning. they usually do.
hah. i'm consoling myself. well, be optimstic onigiri my dear, the sun'll come up, if not for you, then for the rest of the world. you are more than yourself. rememebre to live not for yourself, but for those around you, be more selfless and love life more. have faith lil riceball and stay happy. alway ALWAYS look on the bright side and be constructive. never lead yourself to a dead end. when there's a will, there's a way. you know this. never ever lose that will. it's happened before i think, i think it just happened, but you can pull yourself together.
i feel so tired and weak. god gimme strength.
there goes my wish for secularity in my presence on the net. but aaargh, i believe in god. why havn't i been more dependant on him? have i forgotten why i love my religion in the first place? is my fear of not being politically correct and not offending too many ppl getting in the way of what i used to view as right and wrong?
life of an onigiri: a study in rhectoric questions.
:)
hah, life's a huge joke and i can't get the puncline. so i'm left in the dark when everyone else is laughing while i just pass the peanuts and beer around.
no lah. but what am i?
i don't wanna talk about this to anyone, that's why i put this on my blog, so that i can argue with myself without letting anyone get involved. but if you read this, i dunno.
just gimme some time to sort thru my shit.
there. i think too much. but it only seems to be a problem to other ppl. i just feel less confused with all this crap down in writing somewhere.
